I was recently contacted by a writer from Apartment Guide who was working on an article about how to spend Valentine’s Day at home. They were gathering quotes from experts on how to make the day meaningful—especially for those who may not be celebrating with a partner. When they asked if I had any advice from the perspective of a divorce coach, I didn’t hesitate.
Valentine’s Day after divorce can bring up a mix of emotions—grief, loneliness, confusion, even a twinge of anger. I’ve experienced it myself, and I see it often in the clients I work with. For many, this holiday feels like a spotlight on everything that’s changed. The love that used to be there. The traditions that are now behind us. The plans that no longer apply.
But here’s something I know for sure: healing after divorce doesn’t mean waiting until you’re in a new relationship to celebrate love. It means learning to love yourself in a deeper, more intentional way.
So, what did I share in the article? I talked about one of my favorite tips for cultivating self-love after divorce—something tangible, simple, and powerful:
“Create a cozy sanctuary with warm colors, soft lighting, and comfortable furnishings. Prioritizing self-care in your space reinforces your worth and prepares you for future relationships when the time is right.”
That quote was featured in Apartment Guide’s piece on Valentine’s Day ideas at home, and I was honored to be included alongside other experts sharing thoughtful ways to care for ourselves on what can be an emotionally charged day.
But here’s the thing—I believe this tip goes far beyond just one day a year.
Creating a peaceful home after divorce can be one of the most healing choices you make. When your outer environment reflects your inner journey, it becomes a space that supports your growth. Lighting a candle, buying a new throw blanket in your favorite color, playing calming music, rearranging your space to feel more like you—these aren’t just decor decisions. They’re acts of self-respect.
When I work with clients one-on-one, we talk about the importance of making their surroundings feel like a safe haven. After a divorce, your home can feel like a reminder of what’s gone—but it can also become a powerful symbol of your next chapter. Making it your own is a form of self-love, one that gently tells your nervous system, “You are safe here. You are worthy of comfort.”
I always say that self-love after divorce doesn’t have to be dramatic or extravagant. It can start with the tiniest shift—setting a boundary, taking yourself out to lunch, or turning your bedroom into a retreat instead of a storage space for old emotions. These choices add up. They change the way we see ourselves. And ultimately, they shape how we show up in the world.
So if you’re spending Valentine’s Day solo this year, I invite you to reclaim it. Let it be about you. About your healing. About your growth. Light the candle. Make the playlist. Take the bath. Write yourself a love letter if you’re feeling brave.
Because here’s the truth: whether you’re single, in transition, or newly navigating life after divorce, you deserve love. Every day. Especially from yourself.
If you’re looking for more support, encouragement, or guidance, I’d love to connect. As a divorce coach, I help people navigate the emotional and logistical challenges of separation with grace, clarity, and confidence. You can learn more about my coaching here or explore the advice column for stories and strategies from others who are walking a similar path.
Here’s to love—on Valentine’s Day and beyond.
With warmth,
Cherie
Read full article by Freda Nkrumah, Content Marketer at Redfin